The Sunshine Approach

The Sunshine Approach

Emma writes…

Something beautiful happens to life in the spring and early summer – trees bloom, animals get frisky and people come out of their winter shells in search of something new and fresh. The sun shines brightly. Birds chirp. Enter: you. Spring – or summer or a crisp fall day, depending on your geographic location – is chock full of women frolicking outdoors, looking to make new friends and meet a new guys. It is the perfect time to practice your sunshine approach, but you have to get outside to make sunny magic happen.

Sunshine increases serotonin, a mood-elevating neurotransmitter in your central nervous system. Serotonin levels are positively correlated with feeling of happiness and well-being. (Many anti-depressants work to increase serotonin levels.) Serotonin stimulated, happiness makes people feel positive. Positive people appreciate more, notice the good in things, and are more open-minded to new experiences, places and people. An increase in open-mindedness can mean people feel more relaxed and accepting of newness. That girl who might have turned you down flat in the dead of winter is more likely give you a chance in the sun-shining springtime. Look around. People are happier. A happier person is someone who has integrity, genuinely cares, and lifts others up. Positive and happy people instill confidence and give life. They are magnetic and inspiring and open to you, but you have to go out and meet them.

3 Ways to Operate Outdoors
You literally have to go outside! At the change of the season or a hot summer day, women can be found basking in the sun on their lunch break, weekending at nearby hiking trails and tucked away in courtyard gardens chomping on salads with a copy of last month’s Atlantic. There are a few key places to find them:

1) Working out. For those of you who are in spring, keep in mind that most women have some post-winter plan for a bikini body by summer and thus, hit the gym, running paths and yoga studios hardest in the spring.

2) Shopping. The second the weather warms up and retail windows change, we crave newness in our wardrobes. It sounds cliché, but I actually work in retail and know that like clockwork, the first warm day of the year yields females flocking for the shortest, coolest, freshest duds.

3) Outside. Think brunch, rooftops, street fairs, anything with an outdoor space. We need a place to show off our new outfits. Helllllooo.

I’m not suggesting you go stalking girls at J. Crew on a Saturday afternoon. That is a bit creepy. Rather, use the plethora of outdoor activities that attract women (think parks, boat docks, outdoor cafes) as unlimited chances to practice your daytime approaches. To do so, you may have to change up your routine.

Move your weekend burger and fries to brunch near the shopping destination in your city. Do not underestimate the power of a rooftop. Any rooftop. People are there because the drinks are creative or food to die for. Rooftops sustain because people like to be in the sunshine socializing. Go be one of those people. Bask in the afternoon sunshine with a dark ‘n stormy or mint julep or Coca- cola Classic.

Sure you might feel comfortable meeting someone in a place you are familiar with – indoors, at night, but happy people are outside. You aren’t going to meet the happy spring-loving ladies in the dark. Not this season. Get your butt outside.

A Springtime Happy Hour Impression
Last spring, I left work on a sunny, brisk evening completely exhausted. I didn’t want to do anything but go home, but my friend was having a happy hour to raise money for a charity fashion show she was in. The fundraising was stiffly competitive and very important for her that friends showed up to support her, so rather than going home, I went to her roof deck happy hour fundraiser. When I walked in I saw a very handsome man wearing a gingham button up and dark jeans sitting at the bar. We were introduced, but did not talk most of the evening until I was about to leave. At that point, bag on shoulder and saying my goodbyes, he came up to me and said, “We haven’t had a chance to talk all night, but again, I am Adam and hope you had a great night.”

Now, my night hadn’t been particularly great, but this guy intrigued me. The wind blew my hair to one side and I squinted into the setting sun. I had been about to leave and head home and bury myself in television, when his subtle but direct approach energized me. I was inclined to stay. I did stay and talked with him for about twenty minutes until he asked for my phone number. He said he hoped to see me soon and very politely bid me good evening.

The next morning, I thought back on the handsome man in the too-preppy outfit and wondered why he hadn’t talked with me sooner. Was he hoping I would go up to him? I tried to remember seeing him around the party before I realized that he was in fact occupied talking with other women. The charity happy hour was 75% women. Maybe he didn’t talk to me for half the night because he had so many other women to talk with. Good for him! Later, I learned that he was indeed intentional in his decision to attend the party. He had also been tired that evening and knew that getting outside was a good opportunity to meet new women in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. For guys, especially those who are struggling to meet a woman, going places where you know there will be a lot of women, outside, in a relaxed atmosphere is step one in setting yourself up for success.

So get running! Walking! Photographing! Get to outdoor charity events or concerts or whatever it takes to get outside now. The spring and summer will be packed with sun-shiny opportunities to meet some of your city’s happiest women.

Yesterday, I ran to the National Mall’s Tidal Basin to see the cherry blossoms. It turned out, I was one of probably two thousand women who had the same idea. While men might just go on their usual jog, women will pair up and make it a special cherry blossom run night. If I were a single guy, I would have been hanging out all evening around those cherry blossoms. Outdoor events and activities attract women who want to be outside, soaking up the serotonin-generating sunshine – women who are happy and open to you. Find those events, brunches, and other outdoor opportunities and give your sunshine approach a go!

My commitment: to make this worth the read. Humorous, fun and introspective. I welcome your thoughts, ideas and feedback. Please post a note in the Comments field below. You can find me on the web at www.emmadilemma.com.

2 comments

  1. Justin Miller /

    Beautiful, it sheds a tear to my eye. The weather is great, people are very friendly, and sunlight already gives us energy! Why not use that to our advantage!

  2. Nick Brown /

    Great story, it’ll inspire to get outside more. Thanks.

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